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That’ll Be The Day
September 23, 2009
In my quest to spread effective communications and team building, I am often traveling to many unique locals. People will often ask what did I see. My stock answer is, that will be the day, I don’t have time-have to get in and out.
Currently I’m in Clovis, New Mexico, which is in the eastern part of New Mexico near the Texas Panhandle. I have been here to train several times and have always found the people to be very nice and accommodating. My typical itinerary is to fly to Albuquerque, drive four hours, do the training and leave.
On this trip I was coaching in the Chamber of Commerce/Clovis Industrial Development Corporation complex. It is also the home of the Norman and Vi Petty Museum, otherwise known in these parts as the Buddy Holly Museum. Remember “That’ll Be The Day” and “Peggy Sue”?-that’s the same Buddy Holly who was one of the first inductees into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Little did I know that Buddy Holly recorded here in Clovis-until I toured the Museum, which happens to be in the lower level of the complex where I was coaching. Upon leaving, Chamber President Ernie Kos and CIDC Executive Director Chase Gentry gave my host and I a personal tour of the Museum. What a very pleasant surprise!
As a music lover I did know a little about Buddy Holly and his huge Rock influence. What I knew paled compared to what I learned. I didn’t know Clovis played a roll in early Rock. His manager, Norman Petty had a recording studio here.
The Museum is a gem! Their displays, artifacts, pictures, old recoding equipment and Buddy Holly memorabilia is phenomenal! I felt as though I was back in the 1950’s. You can walk into an old recording studio and record, using the same priceless equipment BH used. They have so much history to share, that the displays change often.
Kudos to Ernie and Chase for their work in founding, growing and promoting the Buddy Holly tribute. It is truly first rate. If you are ever near Clovis or are a Buddy Holly fan or you just want to visit a really neat city- treat yourself and go to Clovis, New Mexico.
I’m glad I took the time.
Glossophobia-The Fear of Public Speaking
September 6, 2009
I have read many publications that suggest the number one fear of all mankind is, the fear of public speaking. It’s more feared than death, taxes, spending time with your mother in law and “loaning” a family member money. I don’t mean to make light of it because it is a very real fear. In fact it has it’s own phobia-glossophobia.
My own experience brought me from that very real fear and now I help others overcome Glossophobia, in addition to becoming more effective, inspiring and influential communicators. Being a successful “manager” of Glossophobia puts me in a unique position to help others.
The fear causes speakers to do things that make matters worse when standing in front of that important audience. A frightening fact: most speakers don’t even know they are sabotaging themselves.
A case in point: Recently I was a part of a group presenting to an association of consultants. A person, who was very qualified on his subject matter stood up to do his presentation. From the moment he started, the audience became disengaged. Why?
- He was so fearful, he never looked at “his” audience. He looked down.
- He spoke as though English was his third language. He’s quite eloquent one-on-one.
- He continuously walked in front of the screen. At one point he stayed there.
- His presentation lacked energy and enthusiasm.
- He looked liked he didn’t want to be there and rushed to get through it.
- He was absolutely stiff-his gestures were non existent.
Hopefully you get the picture, because he didn’t. He actually felt he did a pretty good job. I was the only one who had the “courage” to give him an honest evaluation.
The fear of public speaking is real and is not to be taken lightly. There are many actions you can take to “manage” your fear such as joining a group like Toastmasters or attending specialized communication training. You have to be ready to face your fear of public speaking and take the first step.
The Sounds of the City
September 2, 2009
There are many great things about New York City: the food, people, museums, subway, historical sights, Central Park and the sounds. Yes the sounds. Just close your eyes and Listen. The City sounds are everywhere.
Communication consists of many aspects and listening is one of the key tenets. It is amazing the sounds we hear when we actively listen and listen for understanding.
The City is so diverse in people that in order to get the full flavor, you have to listen. Yesterday we sat at breakfast with young men from Russia, Bulgaria and Poland. They spoke English, but it really required me to listen and when I did? Let’s say it was awesome.
The subway was our chauffeur and tour guide and we were treated to sounds that were making their own music. Every stop brought about a new listening experience.
We stopped by a stand in Greenwich Village to purchase some African garb, from a Sengalese proprietor. By listening to understand, I heard his delightful accent/dialect that just added to the experience.
Our next stop was a park outside of NYU. There were three different street musicians playing within earshot of each other and yet they played as though the park belonged to them only. By actively listening I could hear their unique and wonderful sounds.
The final stop included Ground Zero and Battery Park. We were among thousands paying our respects and yet the sound of silence was so powerful!
The ability to listen is a wonderful gift and works so well, when used. Just think of what you might be missing.
The Silence of the Lion
August 29, 2009
Last night I watched part of “Remembering Ted Kennedy” on MSNBC. In just a few moments, the person I grew up watching, “The Lion of the Senate”, was larger than ever before. It seems as though he did as many great things out of the public eye as he did before the camera. I was so impressed with his multitude of accomplishments and the tremendous work he did on behalf of the disadvantaged.
I was fascinated by those who spoke so passionately about “Teddy” the father, family patriarch, ardent fighter for healthcare and great lover of the sea. The night belonged to him through the touching words of John Kerry, John Culver, Orin Hatch,Thomas M. Menino, John McCain, Joe Biden and his niece Carolyn Kennedy Schlossberg(more to come). What was so amazing about the politicians was their warmth, humor, admiration, humility and eloquence in speaking about Senator Kennedy. Thru their funny stories, antidotes and tales of behind the scenes negotiations, they spoke as friends, colleagues and admirers of the senate icon. The sounds emanating from their voices were warm, loving and reverent.
As I watched and listened, I couldn’t help but think, why can’t you all be like that all the time? (Or maybe most of the time?, ok-every now and then?) Why can’t you play nice and be as bipartisan while doing the “work of the people”?
Ted Kennedy was a great example of what can be accomplished when we work together towards a common goal.
Politicians seem to always have their game face on, doing battle and obstructing. It’s not pretty to watch or listen to. I know it’s way too simplistic to expect and want so much more from those we choose to lead us, but hey why not?
It’s all about Life-Communicate
August 25, 2009
Today my wife Vickie and I celebrate 34 years of marriage. As the special day approached, we’ve talked about many reasons our marriage has succeeded: our love for each other, the commitment we made, our three sons and our two precious grandchildren.
One reason we don’t speak about often, yet do all day is, communicate. We talk about everything! It’s a key reason our marriage has thrived.
My Communication Workshops are based on eight communication Life Skills. I call them Life Skills because they are about life: in business, relationships, community, social and our beliefs. Life is so much better when we are communicating effectively and really thinking about others.
I think often about what an important role communication plays in our lives. How do I have a conversation with Vickie without eye contact? If I speak continuously without pausing, am I showing regard for her? If I speak without passion, how will she know how I really feel and what I truly believe?
Communication like love and so many other things is often taken for granted. Have you taken a communication inventory lately? Do you communicate with the other person in mind? Do you listen to learn? Do you communicate to influence and inspire?
One of the key reasons for our successful 34 years is our commitment to work continuously on our communication.
Communication, it’s for Life, Love and Happiness.
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